


it doesnt mean anything

by mangopancakes (Antarktica)



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Angst, F/F, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:49:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26561686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antarktica/pseuds/mangopancakes
Summary: weekly entry to missing hwabyul hours
Relationships: Ahn Hyejin | Hwasa/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	it doesnt mean anything

i.

byul had always been a morning person. the first one to wake up early, hear the chirping of the birds. leave the comfort that was hyejin's slim arms wrapped around her waist. it wasn't that she didn't struggle out of it. it was in the way byul always left her side of the bed cold enough for hyejin to wake up thinking she wasn't there. and most times, she wasn't.

waking up to a note of saying she's skipping their morning routine. waking up to the ghost of a kiss lingering on her lips. the smell of byul's jasmine scented shampoo. it was actually hyejin's, byul had claimed it.

byul leaving always made her feel so uncertain.

ii.

it isn't long before she figures it out. putting the lies together to create the whole truth. she was a someone again. a friend. a special friend. an acquaintance (you bed every single fucking night). the last thing hyejin was is a fool. and she supposes, if she whispers the words 'it doesn't mean anything' it'll become more real to her. tangible enough to break into pieces and to gather fine dust for when she calls it quits.

(there was always an escape plan. she wouldn't be entirely herself if there wasn't)

byul once said she could have the whole world to herself. hyejin disagreed. the whole world didn't seem to recognize her as anyone at all.

(and it hurt. even if she had an escape plan. she was human after all.)

iii.

its a warm sunday when she runs into moonbyul and her girlfriend at a park. hyejin pretends to not know of her existence.

and if it hurt byul, she didn't show it on her face.

only through the slightly tighter grip from when they shook hands that hyejin only recognizes from when the older woman gets a tad bit more excited with her grip on her throat as she unravels beneath her fingertips.

its selfish. and two could play at this game. hyejin had boundaries. dumb ones that got her into this rabbit hole. and if she couldn't climb out of it, she'll take byul with her.

iv.

hyejin had always liked byul. loved byul. beyond measures anyone could ever understand. byul knew. byul heard.

(once. on that trip they took to disneyland. just the two of them together. on all the rides the park could possibly offer. byul clung tight to her arms, a vicegrip, begging for hyejin to not take off and run away from her.

"i love you too much to do that, unnie." in the present, it seemed that byul didn't love her at all, that's why she found ease in doing it.

twice. when they were up until 3 am drinking just the two of them. wheein had left them to their own devices. as much as she hated to. her head feels wrong in all the places. and so was byul's face hovering before hers too close from comfort.

"hyejin-ah, i wish i could see you everyday for an eon."

her voice felt stuck. her silence proving her wrong and right at the same time. she was so wrong for getting into this. and that the world was right about believing their bond went beyond what only hyejin could freely realize and not the other.) 

but byul didn't listen.

instead she ran.

between the two of them, hyejin was not even surprised. she was turning into a coward she resented. and for hyejin to find out her retreat was a prettier girl- just as young as hyejin was- lighter at that, and maybe less rebelliousー she'd cursed then.

byul didn't know how to handle her. hyejin was a fool for expecting byul to even handle herself. nor comprehend the mockery she's made her feel like.

she didn't bat her a second glance before retreating from the corridor, heart heavy and willing to unload all of whatever byul had left with her.

**Author's Note:**

> weekly entry to missing hwabyul hours


End file.
